I've been staring at this entry for almost an hour now. Too chicken to post it.  Dammit - my E2 must be higher than normal today because, once again, I feel like sharing...

One of the things I am most looking forward to with TRT, but have been a truly afraid to admit, is improving our sex life.  My wife and I have been married for almost 21 years but things in the bedroom have fallen off drastically in the last 5, 6, or longer.

In that time, we've both had significant changes in our careers, our kids turned into "teenagers", we remodeled a house, we moved into a new one as soon as the remodel was done, and worst of all, my Father in Law passed away at the all too young age of 67. We've just been so insanely busy with work, the kids, family, and genuinely juggling so things that our intimacy has taken a back seat. And by back seat, I mean the the sideways facing ones in the cargo area of a 1976 Ford Torino station wagon. We've settled into a new routine that doesn't carve out much room for the Big Bang (pun intended).

Now that I'm on a good protocol and the function of MY equipment is performing better, I have to admit that I'm a little uncertain about how to show my wife that I still think she is attractive and desirable.  We're loving and affectionate all the time, but there's not that "Dammit girl, take off your pants now!" excitement that there used to be. I want that back but I've let myself go and admit that I have a bit of performance anxiety. I am certain that my issue is primarily psychosomatic. I do think about sex all the time but the fear of not being able to wow her has me in a bit of paralysis. Now I'm trying to figure out how to approach the whole damned subject with her.  

She's amazing. For far more reasons than I can list here and she deserves far better than what I've been offering up over the last few years.  I don't have the words to describe what she means to me or how she continues to impress me, excite me, and bring me more joy than I ever imagined.  She's fun, smart, goofy, and stubborn - in the best ways imaginable.  She's my dream girl and as far as I am concerned, I'm the luckiest man alive to have her. 

I know, I know.  You're all thinking "Shit, Pete.  Don't you have any pride?  We're men, dammit!  We don't talk about this touchy-feely stuff.  Keep your wits about you, man!"  Like I said - it's the E2, dammit. 😬